I have 4 boys and according to Gender Dreaming Essay on Maternal Dominance Theory, I am 100% boy mom. I have spent most of my married life with the idea that if I don't do [insert cleaning or organizing thing here], it won't get done. Of course that is not 100% true. There are many things my husband does; it is just that he does in his own timing and his own way. And often when he feels like it is his own idea ;) lol
In order to stop being a 'control freak', and sway pink, I've wrestled with this theory. Do I need to remind my husband he needs to do what I ask vs what he feels like he needs to be doing? Yes! Do I need to realize that not everything needs to be done exactly as I say? YES!! I am working towards being a Mary when all I want to do is be Martha. (No idea what I'm babbling about? Read the Essay linked above!)
COOKING
My husband does much of the evening supper cooking. He enjoys it and is making a great meal to work with his diet. Off and on I get excited about making some good meals too, but cooking is not really my thing.
I'm a woman.
I should cook.
I'm a SAHM.
I should manage the home.
Everything should be just so.
I felt guilty and like a failure if I could not manage a wonderful meal every evening. My husband has a tendency to take over when I cook and turn me into his sous chef, so I tend to kick him out when I make things. I let myself stay so frustrated that he did not think I could manage, that I could not even manage to hang out in the kitchen when he cooked. I always strived to accomplish making all the meals instead of just being happy my husband could do it! We never decided this was my job. It was self imposed. So what is a control freak trying to let go to do?
I am a wife.
I should socialize with my husband.
I'm a SAHM.
I do a lot during the day.
I should enjoy time with family.
In other words, I have been hanging out while he makes supper. Sometimes I help clean up, sometimes I just sit and talk. Other times I am chatting with the kids. It all boils down to me not controlling things I don't need to control. I don't control super time.
As time goes on, I plan to continue to journal other ways I am letting go. I'd keep writing on my next topic, cleaning, but I actually need to go clean. lol
In order to stop being a 'control freak', and sway pink, I've wrestled with this theory. Do I need to remind my husband he needs to do what I ask vs what he feels like he needs to be doing? Yes! Do I need to realize that not everything needs to be done exactly as I say? YES!! I am working towards being a Mary when all I want to do is be Martha. (No idea what I'm babbling about? Read the Essay linked above!)
COOKING
My husband does much of the evening supper cooking. He enjoys it and is making a great meal to work with his diet. Off and on I get excited about making some good meals too, but cooking is not really my thing.
I'm a woman.
I should cook.
I'm a SAHM.
I should manage the home.
Everything should be just so.
I felt guilty and like a failure if I could not manage a wonderful meal every evening. My husband has a tendency to take over when I cook and turn me into his sous chef, so I tend to kick him out when I make things. I let myself stay so frustrated that he did not think I could manage, that I could not even manage to hang out in the kitchen when he cooked. I always strived to accomplish making all the meals instead of just being happy my husband could do it! We never decided this was my job. It was self imposed. So what is a control freak trying to let go to do?
I am a wife.
I should socialize with my husband.
I'm a SAHM.
I do a lot during the day.
I should enjoy time with family.
In other words, I have been hanging out while he makes supper. Sometimes I help clean up, sometimes I just sit and talk. Other times I am chatting with the kids. It all boils down to me not controlling things I don't need to control. I don't control super time.
As time goes on, I plan to continue to journal other ways I am letting go. I'd keep writing on my next topic, cleaning, but I actually need to go clean. lol
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